I had dinner with my wonderful cousin/great friend/traveling companion the other night, and she commented that I seem so busy and yet happy right now -- and she's exactly right.  I have battled depression for a number of years now, and there have been a number of contributing factors, not the least of which is a general dissatisfaction with my job and the inherent stress that goes along with it. I have a really low tolerance for bull crap, and yet I work for the government and deal with the public -- both ready-made crap producers. Go figure... And yet something happened the other day that has given me a newfound appreciation of my vocation.

I have split days off in my current position -- Sundays and Tuesdays for the past 3 years. It has it's advantages, but one of the larger disadvantages is never feeling like I get enough rest (which greatly contributes to my depression.) So when a position came open at another location with weekends off, I bid on the job -- and then almost immediately had reservations/regrets. Indecisive much? I had actually thought it through before bidding and thought I was doing the right thing, but when the panic set in almost immediately, I'm like "What have I done?" And with 25 years of seniority and no additional training required, I was pretty sure I was going to get the job and then be forced to take it. But then amazingly enough, I didn't get the job and I was happy I didn't. (Some doofus with FORTY-ONE YEARS seniority got the position. Seriously, dude? Why are you not sitting on your porch in a rocking chair already? Or out shooting something like a good Southerner?)

The relief was almost instantaneous and overwhelming, and I realized I'm right where I need to be and right where I need to stay. I'm literally 150 yards from my house to work. I can go home every day at lunch and check on mom and spend time with her. I can leave work almost any time I need to if an emergency arises. And I've built an amazing rapport with some of my customers -- one friend and her husband gave me tickets to the Nashville Opera, another brings candy, several have loaned or given me books (since anyone who spends time around me realizes I am a voracious reader.) One customer even stood in a long line just to say "hi." No, she wasn't even mailing anything -- she wanted me to meet her Mom who was visiting from New York. How special is that?!?

So even though I might not love my job, I love many of the people. And I also love what it allows me to do.  I get a lot of vacation time, therefore I am able to travel extensively, and it also pays well enough that I am able to afford to travel extensively. But with this newfound contentment has also come a feeling of freedom. Instead of constantly feeling bogged down, I have begun to be productive again. Hence the revival of this blog along with several other writing endeavors (most notably as editor of the Nashville Harp Society website.)


But this week also brought another dream to fruition: the co-founding of an independent record label with my immensely talented best friend. We are initially producing her music, but down the line hope to sign other like-minded artists. She will head up the artist development end, and I will be working on the marketing and promotions end of it, which will be yet another outlet for my writing skills (I've already composed her full-length bio as well as the more abbreviated version for promo packs.)

So... if you're in need of well-traveled, music-loving writer who can also package and mail anything you want to anywhere in the world, I'm your woman.